Finding Peace In Times of Grief

During our hardest moments in life, finding peace is the hardest thing we can do to begin a good and just new future.  Even when things are particularly unfair, and it seems like everyone is against us, a moment of the present, in a kind way, will be a blessing.  If you are experiencing sadness, regret, feelings of loss, you are experiencing a normal process of grief.  Grief is often misunderstood, as people sometimes think it is just about death.  Not always, as it sometimes can be about a reaction to loss and lack of control.  In order to experience calm, you must try to stay in the moment in order to exist by finding peace.

Finding peace in life comes from Acceptance

If this is seems like a bunch of goofy fluffy new age stuff, you are right.  But fortunately for you, I am not that person.  I have lived through the loss of many lives, with my experiences of the past.  Whether you are a father/mother, a sister/brother or a husband/wife of a soldier, you have my respect and admiration.  Your kindness and support has made our country safer and wiser.  You are just as much a solider as your serving /daughter/son, brother/sister, or wife/husband.  And, this does not breach sexism in any way shape or form, for our female soldiers are even more powerful than people know, because they give up the same family moments that our sons have done for years; whether at home or in the field.  The good thing is with my respect of you, and the warranted respect of others to your credible actions as a soldier, we can be the better civilian force that our country needs.

Moving forward is the key, and that means accepting any challenge that comes to you as a civilian, and finding peace comes with sometimes simply letting go.  Accept the pact that you are not perfect.  Accept that you lost friends in the field.  No amount of recant on your part will bring them back.  Accept that you did good, no matter the outcome.  Find a way to move towards finding peace, by letting go.  Lose the power that you think you have by holding on to the past and things you think you had control of.  You really didn’t in the end.

New Age of Finding Peace Comes Slowly

Grief comes in many forms, and often revolves into anger, especially when you do not accept the fact that your loss is real.  Sometimes trying to push through, and enlist a toughness of not finding peace, feels empowering.  You are superman, and you can become better than any regretful soldier from the past.  No matter that you are experiencing panic attacks, loss of emotional control with those you love, or sadness that takes over your life.  You are often in denial during these early days, and find that your life is lower than your life as a soldier.  Civilian life sucks, you tell yourself, and you can’t move forward unless you go back to the core.  You rein-list and quite possibly, you go back, only to discover the times in the field are better, but still the regret of loss exists, and finding peace sometimes still doesn’t come.

Never mind that all the smartest people you know have watched you with caring eyes, and seen the truth.  Your feelings of loss, of grief are real, and if you do not accept them, you will be in a place of hurt until you do. Why not accept that which you cannot control?  Find yourself by accepting the facts of loss, and yes you have lost a friend, a war companion, or even a limb.  The thing that you lost during the battle could be your pride.  You made an error in judgement, that still to  this day sucks you into a frenzy of pain.  Allow it it be my friend.  Allow it time.  Once you do, and accept that you had no business in stopping it, that you were meant to experience it, you are on your way to finding peace.

Now that you let go you are finding peace

The beauty of this little trip is that it never ends.  By acceptance, you can evolve this trick into so many things in your life.  The fact that you accept when bad things happen, and that you release yourself from your choice to try to control your outcome, you are going to be able to allow finding peace.  It is a beautiful thing!  Our beauty of connecting will others is established, we are released from ultimate responsibility when it was not ours to control, and we are better able to find positive gains for humanity.  As as soldier, you can accept that you have been the best force to bring your country into the life of each day, by simply finding peace.


Leave a reply